September

Well, it sure has been a while since I've been on here.  I have really been taking in the fact that the kids are back in school.  I got my first email from the Middle School Guidance Counselor yesterday.  I figured I'd have gotten one earlier.  But anyway, all in all, its looking like an okay school year.


Cecily wasn't too sure about starting 1st grade.  She really misses kindergarten.


Ashlyn is now officially a Marching Dragon, and I was so excited to see them perform for the first time this season, last Saturday.  I'm SURE its going to be a great season!

Claudia, on the other hand, has quit band.  She wasn't doing well, and decided not to try.  She waited until it was too late, to decide she wanted to be in Cross Country.  Maybe next year.

Max, well, is struggling with 8th grade.  Still working on that one.


Me and Ruby spend our days reading stories, playing, and watching PBS on TV.  I love my days with her and wouldn't trade them for the world!  

Busy day, so I'll update some more later. :)

Gotta Get A New Routine

I'm disappointed in myself.  This morning, was the first time in a long time that I have gotten up early and had a little chat with God before the kids woke up.  Summer break has thrown me for a loop, but the sad thing is, I've let it.  I'm so thankful for this little contraption called a laptop, though.  I've found so many amazing resources and inspiration, ever since we got Internet access.  But I've allowed late nights getting kids to bed, and arguments with my husband, and all of the daily tasks that I have, get in the way with personal time with my Savior.  For that, I am sorry.  I realize that because of this, I am making my days more stressful, and then complaining at night to Him "Why was today so bad?!"  Well,  because I didn't START the day with Him.  Now I see.

On a better, positive note, Ashlyn and Claudia have recently developed a strange friendship.  I say this because, I'm so accustomed to the constant bickering and fighting between the two.  To see them getting along, well, shocks me!  I'm thankful though.  Hopefully it will last!

Proverbs 3:5-6

~Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path~

Lets break it down:
1. Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart.    In everything that you do, think, say, decide, wish for....trust HIM to handle it.  This part is harder than it sounds.  Trust is a big thing.  Think of relationships, and significant others.  We have a hard time, nowadays, trusting them.  If they don't answer the phone.  If they work late.  If they act funny to us.  Trusting is a difficult thing.  So when it comes to TRUSTING the Lord, it takes some self discipline, some understanding, and lots of learning about Him.  And trusting Him with EVERYTHING.  Just letting go and letting God.  Once you come to the deep, meaningful relationship with Him, and you realize He is always there, and always has your best interest in mind, its a whole lot easier to hand your heart over to Him.

2. And lean not on your own understanding.  The things that we are raised to understand, believe, have faith in, may not always be right.  This world has clouded man's mind and heart so much, that we wanna believe we've got it all under control.  We definitely don't.  My life has been such a roller coaster, when I've tried to do things the way that I see fit.  Its been all about me, and what I want.  When making decisions, I never once thought about Jesus, or what God may have in store for me, and now I see where that got me.  But in the struggle, coming back up the hill of that roller coaster, God has shown me that there is bigger and better purpose in my life.  There is more than what the world understands.  This goes right back to trusting Him with it all.  Just keep going in His direction, because it leads to His will, and straight to HIM.

3. In all your ways, acknowledge Him.   Exactly what it says.  In every breathe you take, every movement, every act, every motion and emotion, acknowledge that He is Lord.  Now, since I've come to a better understanding of the Word, and of God and my relationship with Him, when I have a decision to make, what matters to me, is if it is glorifying to the One who died for ME.  Jesus died for ME.  This is personal.  Now, who would I be to say "okay, God, your Son laid down His life for me, but I don't wanna live or do anything with Him on my mind"  NO WAY.  That's all that matters now.  I do catch myself thinking, before I talk to the kids, or argue with my husband, or even type online, "God sees this, and how would this effect my relationship with my Lord?"  "Does this glorify His presence?" "Will what I say effect someone else's relationship with Him?"  In EVERYTHING  acknowledge the fact that if it weren't for Him, your entire life would be completely different, if at all!  Thank Him for everything; good times, bad times, rewards and struggles.  Romans 8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
4. And HE shall direct your paths.  The finale.  If you TRUST in Him with everything, GIVE Him your whole heart and understanding, ACKNOWLEDGE Him, and glorify Him with everything that you do, THEN He will make your path straight, and lead you where He wants you to be!  The path may not be easy, but the reward of a close relationship with Him, the Creator of the universe, the Savior of all mankind, the KING OF KINGS........ is well worth it.

Ruby

Ruby turned 3 last week.  As many parents of children OVER 3 know, the whole terrible 2's thing is a myth!  It's 3 that you have to prepare for.  You would think that with four older siblings, I'd have prepared myself.......I didnt.

Ruby was born June 16, 2008.  I remember the first words my sister said when I woke in the recovery room from my cesarean.  "The nurse said she's a loud one!"  And that was just her first day of life!  With the last 1,099 days, she's only gotten louder.  I used to wonder why God didn't let me have her first!

See, Ruby is a very demanding, yet entertaining, child.  She wants all the attention, and no less!  I call her a "diva", and with great reason.  But she is also very intelligent.  She knows how to work her pretty little eyes and smile, for sure.  But she is NON STOP!  She is constantly talking, running, into something!  Just this morning, I said "Ruby, its still night time.  Why are you awake already?!"  Running full speed down the hallway, and putting all of her weight in each step, she yells "I'M NOT AWAKE MOMMY!"  and giggled, while bouncing against the wall.  Her "ruby-isms" have brought me such joy, and so many laughs.  I wish I'd started a journal of the "tomatoes" and all her little words for things, long ago.  I realize, now, that the later you wait to have children, the more you can enjoy them.  I was 18, and fresh out of high school, when I had Ashlyn. I was 25 with Cecily.  I adore all 3 of my girls, but something about knowing what I'm doing, has made Ruby a whole lot more enjoyable!

Now I know why God didnt let me have her first.  1. He saves the best for last.  2. He knew I wouldve quit there!

Monday......

This weekend is gonna be a tough one for me and Trav.  He goes to court on Monday for his ignorant mistake of getting a DUI in a roadblock.  Though I'm angry, I'm scared and worried more.  Monday, there is a high possibility that the Judge will revoke Travis' parole, and he could return to prison.  This is not the time for that, as I dont have a job, or money, or even a car!  I'm praying, and praying and trying to trust that God will NOT allow this to happen.  And I'm also having a hard time thinking about it.

Has my voice become inaudible?!

I am desperate to be a good mother, AND a good servant to the Lord.  But I'm struggling with the time issue, between the two.

I'm stuck in a trailor, day in and day out, with 5 children who have seemingly become immune to my voice.  People seem to think that I'm a little overwhelming myself, and that I just complain about the kids too much.  That is partially not true.  I am overwhelming myself, because I am a little OCD when it comes to organization and order.  But, I would desperately love someone else to take a walk in my shoes COMPLETELY for 24 hours.  Know what its like to wake up arguing with one or more of the kids over something piddly.  To fight with my husband over discipline and necessities.  ( He seems to think lottery tickets are more important that shampoo )  To have to follow the little ones CONSTANTLY and clean up their trail, because once children are mobile, they leave trails of food, crayons, torn paper, and occasionally unidentifiable stuff I would rather not discuss!  To have to answer to the landlord, bill collectors, school counselors, all by myself, and even make my husband sound good to them all!

You know, sometimes, I believe what would help, is just a friendly visit.  But I don't get those anymore, either.  Mainly because my house is so chaotic, noone wants to come around.  So, I sigh alot, and daydream.  I talk to God like He's right here in the room with me, but I even wonder if He gets aggravated at the insueing chaos in my household on a daily basis.

Today is supposed to be peaceful!

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me (Jesus) you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

I woke up this morning, expecting a wonderful, peaceful day.  I only have 3 of the five kids for a week, and was SSSOOOO  looking forward to somewhat of a break.

Then.....they woke up.  When I walked in Ruby's room this morning, I ignored the mess all over her floor and went straight for a hug, with the normal "Good morning sunshine!"  No sooner had I said it, that my blood pressure sky rocketed!  I noticed the hard candy, wrapped tightly in her beautiful curls!  No way, no how am I gonna cut off Ruby's curls, so the task began, of slowly unwrapping the sticky, red mess.  After lots of tears (from her, not me!) and lots and lots of shampoo, her hair is the normal golden, curly mane of fairy tales.

THEN there were wasps!  The window in my bathroom decided, on its own, to lean.  I noticed there were wasps nests in the window and have told my husband time and time again to remove them.  He hasnt.  So today was the hardest wasp battle yet.  I tore my bathroom up, all the while screaming at the girls to stay on the other side of the door!  Finally, it landed on the leaning window.......I took a broom to the window, killing the wasp, but knocking the whole window frame OFF THE WALL, exposing the nests.  (Needless to say, this has already been a long morning!) Ash and I TAPED the window back to the wall, to wait on Daddy to get home to help.

Of course no frustrating morning is complete without Cecily.  This child is 5 going on 16, with an attitude that irritates me more than fingernails on a chalk board!  And to add to it, she LOVES irritating me.  Smearing jelly into the carpet, decorating her baby sister with markers, peeling the paint off of my newly painted wall......you name it.

I LOVE my children so much, and I understand that they are blessings.....in disguise!  I've had a hard time understanding frustration today, and I've done a lot of begging God to help me.  But I've noticed that maybe, just maybe, God already knows that I dont need help.  I should be thankful for what I DO have, and not constantly complaining about the kids misbehavior.  I'm thankful that I have my healthy, rambunctious children, and I'm happy that God is trusting me with them.  What's the quote "what doesnt kill us makes us stronger".  Well, they havent killed me......yet.